January 2012. Can you handle the blunt truth about the ASL?
Whoa, blogger dude, ASL? What the Hell is the ASL, some new soccer league?
No, dear reader, the ASL is the American Sport Leviathan, that entity which comprises the whole of our largely out-of-control sports spectrum. Pro, college, high school and even rungs below, they are all in the ASL’s fiefdom.
The ASL arose as it became more and more apparent there was much money and power to be had in America’s burgeoning sports leviathan. I know, I know, in the ideal (Dare I say Pollyannish?) world, sport was meant to be a teaching too for how to behave in the real world, a tool to convey constructive values and an escape from the pressures of everyday life; a seasoning to real life, if you will. Today, rarely is that the case.
Today, sport is just another component of society’s massive, cynical money-generating machine, a grinder churning out a largely tedious product, one packed with all manner of shallowness designed to fatten its base. American sport has largely become a scam. A three card monte shill. A bright and relentlessly hawked come-on. Yes, in many respects sport provides a generic metaphor for American society, that is, status quo power pulling the strings to hoodwink a pliable mass or in this case the Fan Fool base (Sorry about that, Fan Fool base).
Who is this status quo? The ASL status quo comprises:
* The various money-soaked leagues and entities: NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, NCAA, MLS, BCS...].
* The corporate cartel. This aspect of the ASL controls the media network and the moolah for the advertising, the purchase of sky boxes and pay for stadium naming rights. The corporate cartel also includes the owners, who are essentially allowed to hatch any ruse to separate Da Fans! from their moolah. You know, like PSLs (Personal Seat Licenses) and the myriad fees surrounding tickets, seating, parking...Too, this corporate entity rakes in moolah from the sale of licensing fees and the subsequent sale of sport-related merchandise.
* The media, who are an integral component of the above corporate cartel, and who busily hype the ruse masking the ASL
* Those fellows who are laughably described as commissioners, but who are in essence but overseers in the service of the ASL.
* The gambling concern, which milks the Da Fans! of their money.
* The player unions, and often their bombastic heads.
* The sports agents, many of whom wield much power.
* The players themselves, although some players are more equal than others.
* Da Fans! who provide are the bottom layer of the cynical ASL pyramid and who support same with their personal moolah, and who keep allowing themselves to be played for stooo-peed (You know, much like the American voter, who keeps being suckered by our non-stop electoral ruse.) [WHOO-OO! WHOO-OO! Yeaaaa, TEAM! RAH, RAH, ASL! Rickety Rack! Rickety Rack! Kick us in the arse, we’ll keep coming back! (And we’ll pay even more!).].
ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, ESPN, NFL Network, MLB Network, TNT/NBA, Golf Channel...all put out the same stale platter of processed presentation: Over-hyped events; commercial and promo-jammed pre-game shows (which seemingly last longer than the actual game); drawn out starting times, all of which are as close to 9 p.m. as possible (to ensure millions shall not be able to watch); an endless supply of inane stats and inane Fantasy League drivel; TV screens jammed with icons, promos, pop-ups...; commercial blocs on top of commercial blocs on top of network promos upon network promos; constant stoppages of play (Upon further review...); announcers who spout ceaseless blather; camera fixations on celebs, nincompoop fans and furrow-browed family members; drawn out halftime shows, often featuring annoying, has-been celebs; commercial and promo-jammed postgame shows (which seemingly last longer than the actual game)...
I shall make a plaintive plea, a novel idea: Dear Networks, SHOW US the #&%$#@*!!!#&^%$ GAME!
Like that shall ever happen. No, Fan Fool, don’t fret, as “We’ll be right back after an explanation of the NFLs new overtime rules.” D’oh!
For years I was conversant in a wide spectrum of sport, however, I cannot do it anymore, for the aforementioned reasons, and, oh, I often cannot stay up late enough to see these truncated spectacles, as I have to work. And I am not alone.