December 2009. Chris Matthews, an annoying MSNBC demagogue (Relax, FOX demagogues, as you too are annoying.) on his 11 December show was intent on discovering where on the political spectrum President Obama could be found, his ideological area code, as it were. In his grating, rapid-fire style, Matthews peppered his guests as to whether Obama was right, left center, center right, playing a shift, doing the ideological yadda yadda...Suddenly there is doubt as to where President Obama should reside (B’rack, we hardly knew ye!). Is he a lefty, a progressive, aka false liberal, a neocon mole, a free swinger, a contract hitter, a Man for All Reasons...well, how long may one deconstruct Obama? But why now are people wondering in this fashion? Is this a post-one hundred days syndrome, or has a certain bloom worn off AmeriConUS Obama? And is he a blue rose, a red rose or a rose by any other name?
I fear I must now interrupt this posting for the following clarification, one which America’s climate of unrestrained factionalism makes necessary: I am a genuine conservative, and not a neocon, or false conservative. I have no truck with either neocons or progressives, as they are both ideologues who have spoiled their hosts. That said, I shall continue...I was struck the other day of how President Obama reminds me, after a fashion, of President Jimmy Carter in that Obama has that same strain of moral rectitude which made Carter near insufferable (He uses the pronoun “I” a lot.). I cannot at this time suggest Obama shall take to wearing cardigans, or that a manic wabbit shall attack Obama while he hacks (with futility, it is rumored) at a ball next to an otherwise benign water hazard. And I shall not guarantee a now you see it, now you don’t headline reading “More Mush From The Wimp” won’t be used by an editor of some News Corp rag.
After Obama of Afghanistan gave his West Point speech, which conferred his blessing on the Bush Doctrine of Inane War, a doctrine in which American Exceptionalism shines, Obama marched northward to sack Oslo, but agreed to accept tribute instead-a Nobel Peace Prize. He made another speech...Hey, what’s irony got to do with all this speechifying? (Dare I say I merely wanted to have another irony in the fire?).
Well, aside from the obvious irony of a candidate who told us he would end war, but who has instead extended inane and useless war, the irony is in the reception both speeches received. After the West Point speech, in which Obama of Afghanistan informed the country that he was going to send thirty thousand or so fresh, body bag-ready (shovel ready?) troops to Afghanistan in an attempt to subjugate a country which cannot be subjugated, one relished the obvious painful contortions of those demagogues and pundits who had supported Obama. These Obamaite demagogues, such as those on MSNBC, now had to come up with excuses for Obama suddenly resembling a neocon vampire. And then, in a new wave of delicious irony, Obama’s Oslo speech was panned by unintelligible lefties such as Ariana “Huff-’n-Puff” Huffington, BUT praised by unintelligible neocons such as Palin, Gingrich and Noonan.Thus, as the first year of Obama of Afghanistan’s administration comes to a close, one must ask: What shall Obama become? If he doesn’t step down in favor of the First Consul of the Republic, Josephus Lieberman, I suspect Obama of Afghanistan shall ultimately fit right in with the over under sideways down ruling class, and thus elicit from history a stifled yawn.
In contemplation of that, how do you say "Oy vey!" in pashto?
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